Dear United States of America,

As you prepare to celebrate your 250th birthday – complete with all the fireworks, flag-waving and full-throated Yankee Doodle patriotism that make us shudder – this might also be a good moment for reflection.

Not just on your own achievements, but on your neighbour to the north who, for generations, has stood by you in war (with the exception of the War of 1812, but let bygones be bygones), bought your goods and absorbed your culture. We’re the friend who helped build the world’s longest undefended border and one of the most enduringly prosperous economic partnerships in this fractured planet.

So instead of mocking us as the “51st state,” ridiculing our leaders and hammering us with punishing tariffs, why not focus on what made this relationship so great in the first place?

Because, frankly, we’ve had enough.

So, as July approaches and our countries prepare to renegotiate the trade agreement that has benefited both countries, Canada is still willing to move forward in good faith. We’re ready to overlook the insults and provocations – but only if we’re treated with the respect allies deserve.

All we want is a fair deal. And if we can’t get one, we’ll continue seeking new relationships elsewhere.

But before we break it off, let’s try to end the petty schoolyard politics and tit-for-tat economics. We’ll come back for shopping trips and winter vacations – heck, we’ll even start drinking your bourbon again. Leave the rivalry to the artists – Drake and Kendrick Lamar – and to the hockey rink, where our men’s and women’s teams can settle things the old-fashioned way.

Then we can get back to renewing the financial, cultural and military partnership that has enriched both our countries and defined this close friendship, the envy of the modern world.

Yes America, it’s time to grow up and act your age. Drop the anti-Canada rhetoric and take a closer look at the neighbour you’ve too often ignored, underestimated or turned into a punchline.

We’re still here. And we’d still rather stand beside you than apart from you.

Respectfully, your oldest friend,
Canada 

P.S. Below you’ll find some reflections made by our true patriot sons and daughters that might shed some light on how we feel about you. 

“It is greatly to be desired that there should exist at all times the friendliest relations between the people of the United States and Canada.”

—Prime Minister Sir Wilfred Lauier, in a Feb. 1908 letter to U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt.

“Canada’s close ties to America, which were formerly strengths, have now become weaknesses. These weaknesses need to be addressed.” 

—Prime Minister Mark Carney

“Americans are benevolently uninformed about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States.”

—Historian John Bartlet Brebner, during an address to Columbia University in 1954.

“When we are dealing with such a powerful neighbour, we have to avoid the twin dangers of subservience and truculent touchiness.”

—Lester B. Pearson in 1944, when the future prime minister was serving as Canada’s ambassador to the U.S.

“I am not anti-American. But I am strongly pro-Canadian.”

—Prime Minister John G. Diefenbaker during a 1958 interview with The New York Times, responding to U.S. criticism of his economic and foreign policies.

“Living next to you is in some ways like sleeping with an elephant. No matter how friendly and even-tempered is the beast, if I can call it that, one is affected by every twitch and grunt.”

—Prime Minister Pierre Elliott Trudeau, during his 1969 address at the National Press Club in Washington.

“I’m a Canadian. I believe in Canada. We should work for a unified Canada – English and French – as Canadians, not as anti-Americans. We should be more positive about ourselves.”

—Artist Joyce Wieland in a 1971 New York Times interview.

“Canadians had become addicted to the one-way mirror of the Canadian-American border – we can see you, you can’t see us – and had neglected that other mirror, their own culture.”

—Margaret Atwood, in her 1977 essay, Through the One-Way Mirror.

“Canada is seldom deemed newsworthy in the United States of America. Thank God for blizzards or most Americans would never know we exist.”

—Prime Minister Brian Mulroney, who helped engineer the original Canada-U.S. Free Trade Agreement in 1987, during a 1984 speech to U.S. newspaper executives bemoaning their lack of coverage.

“The U.S. is our trading partner, our neighbour, our ally and our friend … and sometimes we’d like to give them such a smack!”

—Comedian Rick Mercer, during a This Hour Has 22 Minutes “Talking to Americans” segment, which aired in the late ’90s.

“Canadians have an abiding interest in surprising those Americans who have historically made little effort to learn about their neighbour to the north.”

—News anchor Peter Jennings in his 2002 book, In Search of Canada. 

“Canadians can easily pass for American as long as we don’t accidentally use metric measurements or apologize when hit by a car.”

—Douglas Coupland in his 2002 book, Souvenir of Canada.

“There is always a big rivalry between Canada and the United States; it’s always fun, and we are really motivated.”

—Hockey legend Marie Philip-Poulin, during the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver.

“You can’t take our country – and you can’t take our game.”

—Prime Minister Justin Trudeau following Canada’s 3-2 victory over the U.S. in the 4 Nations Face-Off hockey championship in Feb. 2025, countering President Donald Trump publicly mocking Canada as the “51st state.”

“Canadian nationalism isn’t as insidious as American nationalism. It’s good natured. It’s all about maple syrup, not war.”

—Singer Feist, in a 2008 interview with The Guardian.

“I love the U.S. Canadians love the U.S. They love the American people, and we’ve got to work together.”

—Ontario Premier Doug Ford, meeting the U.S. press in Buffalo, N.Y. in 2025, describing souring trade relations between the two countries.

“It’s remarkable to find ourselves at odds with our best friend and neighbour.”

—Nova Scotia Premier Tim Houston in a public statement responding to an announcement of new U.S. tariffs in 2025.

“It’s like a marriage that’s come to an end.”

—Sarnia, Ont., Mayor Mike Bradley in 2025, after president-elect Donald Trump first started making hostile tariff threats.

“Oh no, what went wrong? / We used to be the singers in a two-part song / Guess all good things come to an end, but / We used to be the best of friends.”

—Singer Jim Cuddy, lyrics from We Used to be the Best of Friends, released in 2025.