We’ve all heard the jokes: Canadians are boring, reserved, polite – and when it comes to the bedroom, our reputation is no different. A 2017 New York Post story carried the headline, “Everything is lamer in Canada, including sex.” Harsh! After all, “a Canadian is somebody who knows how to make love in a canoe,” according to our distinguished late historian Pierre Berton. And in a 2013 study, at least eight per cent of us had given it a try. Need more proof that Canada is actually
a hidden treasure of pleasure? Read on.

Torrid Trudeau (le père pas le fils)

Canada’s first prime ministerial sex symbol stood 5’8” with a receding hairline. But when Trudeaumania reached the masses during Pierre Trudeau’s 1968 campaign, you had to admit the man just had it. Trudeau was a bachelor when he took office and was linked to the likes of Kim Cattrall and Barbra Streisand, who described him as a blend of Marlon Brando and Napoleon. While he oozed style and panache, it was his progressive nature that was the true turn-on. “There’s no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation,” he said in 1967 while decriminalizing homosexuality. This inspired his (not-as-sexy) predecessors to legalize same-sex marriage in 2005, making Canada one of the first four countries to do so.

Bodacious Businesses

The government may not be interested in what’s happening in our bedrooms, but Canadian businesses sure are. Toronto has the notorious distinction of being the birthplace of Ashley Madison (the dating site for married people looking to have an affair) and Montreal begat Pornhub (the infamous adult-entertainment behemoth), which is one of the top 20 most-viewed websites in the world. Unfortunately, the U.K. beat us to the puck with OnlyFans, or we could have had a hat trick.

Patriotic Positions

How I Met Your Mother made an art out of poking fun at the Canadian-ness of its character Robin Scherbatsky (played by Vancouver actress Cobie Smulders) and never as hilariously as when the writers brainstormed a list of the ultimate Canuck-approved sex acts that Robin may or may not have given a go: The Sneaky Snowplow, Full Mountie, Sloppy Dog Sled, Two-Hand Zamboni, Manitoba Milk Bag (which involves a snowsuit), Newfoundland Lobster Trap, Sticky Flapjack, Northwest Passage, Five-legged Caribou and the sacrilegious Two Girls One Stanley Cup.

City Slicker

We can all thank Kim Cattrall – and her Sex and the City alter ego Samantha Jones – for taking Canada’s risqué side out of the shadows and into living rooms around the world. Jones’ self-described “try-sexual” was flirty and raunchy enough to dispel any myths about women of a certain age’s carnal valour. And the actress’ provocative plaudits aren’t limited to show business, either: In 2005, Cattrall authored Sexual Intelligence, giving us her take on the mysteries of passion and desire.

Randy Reporting

The news of the day is so much less depressing when it’s delivered in the buff. That winning combination was the brainchild of Montreal-born producer Lucas Tyler, who launched the Naked News website in 1999 – and it’s still around today. At the height of its popularity, the page averaged six million unique pageviews per month, a figure which rivalled the much more staid Wall Street Journal site. Now that’s a human-interest story.

Good-Time Granny

On the Sunday Night Sex Show, Canada’s late octogenarian nurse-turned-sex-educator Sue Johanson took anonymous calls from viewers across the country – answering questions about the birds and the bees, wielding vibrators and butt plugs as casually as knitting needles and rolling pins. Eventually she was wooed to Oprah’s Oxygen network, where she taught the American population a thing or two as well. No one was a bigger fan – or bigger blusher – than David Letterman, who would invite her to his late-night show on a regular basis for a bit of racy banter.

Sultry Settings

Cross-country road trip but make it sexy! Canada puts the titillation in travel with ribald-sounding destinations like Climax, Sask., Balls Creek, N.S., and Newfoundland’s double whammy of Spread Eagle and Dildo – two towns that are only 13 kilometres apart.

A version of this article appeared in the Summer 2025 issue of Zoomer with the headline “Coast to Coast to Coital,” p. 32.