Home Base: London
Author’s Take: “I’ve been interested in the idea of something that explores relationships starting at the middle, that skips through all of the getting to know you and trying to impress each other bit and just puts the protagonist in the middle of a situation to try and figure out what’s good, what’s bad, what works, how happy she is.”
Favourite Lines: “It’s time to focus. No swingers. No open-mouth chewers. Just a nice man to keep for a week and take to a wedding. Not a perfect husband; just a perfect plus-one.”
Review: Lauren comes home drunk from her BFF’s stagette to find a strange man in her London flat, and, in a hungover haze the next day, realizes – after seeing a wedding photo on the wall – he is her husband. When he goes to the attic to change a lightbulb, a new “startlingly good-looking” man comes down the ladder. He, too, is wearing a wedding ring. After Lauren figures out her magic attic supplies an infinite stream of men, she sends most of them back, hoping the next one will be a better match. The wallpaper, the contents of the fridge and her hair style change with each new arrival, but her home, job, family and friends remain the same.
In this farcical debut rom-com by Gramazio, a London video game designer, Lauren is initially horrified by the idea of sharing a bed with some of them but soon leans into it and even sleeps with a few. Her main concern is finding a suitable date for her friend’s wedding, because she wants to show her ex, Amos, she has traded up. Amos also appears out of the attic, only to be banished.
Lauren hits paydirt with Carter, a hot American. Sadly, she loses that baseball-playing, perfect spaghetti eater when, unbidden, he goes to the attic to look for their wedding photos. After eight men, Lauren is struck by a realization: “All of her husbands are men that some version of herself might have chosen to marry … none of them are going to be radically dissimilar from the husband who already visited.”
The novel will prompt laughs of recognition as Lauren evaluates potential partners – at one count, she’s had 160 – and finds most of them wanting. On her list of perfect-mate attributes are “forearms” and “owns scarf.” The book ends with a cataclysmic denouement that satisfactorily ties the plot together, but the hilarity is in the interstitial scenes: Lauren dissing the wallpaper only to find out she chose it; having sex with the amateur actor who shows up in an embroidered doublet and tights; and finding out she is a swinger who had a dalliance with her beloved neighbours.
Gramazio has said Lauren’s journey of self-discovery was prompted by friends’ dating apps, as well as her future husband’s profile, which was so dull the author – who met him in real life – never would have swiped right. The moral of the story is there are plenty of suitable fish in the sea, if only we weren’t paralyzed by choice and dazzled by the superficial. —Kim Honey