Like father, like son? Here’s hoping, as two-years-single Justin Trudeau is finally on the post-separation romantic prowl and with some big shoes to fill. Recall his father Pierre in 1984: Divorce ink still drying, Trudeau Sr. rebounded with Lois Lane herself, actress Margot Kidder; the future sexiest Sex and the City lady Kim Cattrall; “First Lady of the Guitar” Liona Boyd, with whom he had an eight-year romantic situationship; and, if you believe tawdry gossip (which I certainly do), jet-setting nepo-rocker Bianca Jagger.
Judgey naysayers were hardly shocked: Before the 51-year-old OG Trudeau surprised everyone by tying the knot with 22-year-old Margaret Sinclair, the then-bachelor was one of few unmarried politicians in our quaint country. Others include never-married William Lyon Mackenzie King and R.B. Bennett, both distinctly less sexy than “Swinging Pierre,” who’d also famously fuddle-duddled with Barbra Streisand before (briefly) settling down with the lovely Maggie.
All of this to say that, if Justin’s got living-up-to-daddy issues – and let’s be real, how could he not? – the 53-year-old ex-prime minister better get busy filling his dance card with flashy names. And as of the summer, he seemed to be off to a great start with California Gurl Katy Perry. Allegedly!
If you’re better than me and haven’t been obsessively following #KatyAndJustin, here’s a quick recap of this whirlwind teenage dream: In July, the very same month Perry announced the end of her nearly-decade-long romance (which included parenthood) with Lord of the Rings actor Orlando Bloom, TMZ spotted the new couple (Jaty? Justy?) taking a dog for a walk – reportedly Katy’s teacup poodle, Nugget – before looking cozy at trendy Montreal restaurant Le Violon, where they downed multiple cocktails and shared dishes (including lobster, which everyone knows means love). A solid start, but it proved nothing.
Two days later, at Perry’s Montreal concert, a googly-eyed Trudeau bounced in the crowd next to his teenage daughter, Ella-Grace (one of the three kids he shares with ex Sophie Grégoire). She was no doubt utterly humiliated by her dad singing along to Firework (“Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?” I bet he totally does). But it’s very possible he’s just a dorky fan, so looky-loos like me still didn’t get too excited.
And then, and then, we had indisputable proof: On October 11, a heroic citizen paparazzo snapped the smoochers mid-embrace on the songstress’s luxury yacht off the Santa Monica coast. Perry wore a one-piece swimsuit, as one does, while her topless unemployed new boyf, very confusingly, wore jeans. A nod to the Canadian tux, perhaps? Is the former drama teacher embarrassed of his pasty Canadian legs mid-fall? We’ll never know, but as a Justin spoof on This Hour Has 22 Minutes says, “This is the least problematic my clothes get.”
Denial was futile and the countdown was on to an official, public appearance. We got what we wanted on October 25 at Perry’s 41st birthday at the City of Love’s Le Crazy Horse cabaret, where the singer donned a Valentine-red, floor-length gown while Trudeau 2.0 changed out of his jeans and into a Davos-panelist suit perfect for parent-teacher night. They held hands, fingers intertwined, as the flash bulbs roared.
Questions are ample and ongoing: How and why did these two improbable pop-culture characters cross paths and hook up? Is this all an epically executed publicity stunt? Are they collaborating on Justin’s son Xavier’s burgeoning R&B singing career? How do exes Sophie and Orlando feel about this unforeseen new development? Is it easier to make love on a yacht or in a canoe?
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If the whole thing feels like history repeating itself, well, you’re not alone in the strange sentiment of deja vu. “It does echo his father,” said one loose-lipped “society source” to Page Six. “It’s in his DNA to do this.” The same Chatty Cathy described the union as “a bit of a midlife crisis” and “Justin’s answer to going to Burning Man.”
To that I say, Mr. Prime Minister, please go to Burning Man. Please re-wear your inflatable Super Bowl Left Shark Halloween costume (IYKYK). With or without Katy Perry on your arm, please gift Canadians with a repeat performance of your father’s romantic shenanigans. You’ve earned it, and as long as you don’t mind some gentle ribbing from nosy gawkers like me, please date JLo or Kim Kardashian. Especially for our down-on-his-luck former PM, we heart a later-in-love romance – the more surprising, not to mention sensational, the better.
