Stephen: I was born in England and came to Canada in 1983 to get married. My first wife, who had three daughters that became my stepdaughters, passed away after 26 years together. But by then, ours was sort of a marriage of convenience. We’d long ago fallen out of love.
Sue: I’d been married and divorced, becoming a single mom to two sons. They’re both architects now so I like to think I did pretty well. I had a couple of relationships after my divorce, including a long-term, long-distance thing, but nothing stuck.
Stephen: I was in my mid-50s, and it was actually the first time I’d lived alone, ever. My house in Brampton, Ont., was too much to maintain, and cooking for one was so difficult. I’d never dated online before, but something was telling me e-dating was the thing to do. My stepdaughters weren’t supportive, as it was just a few months after their mother passed, but I joined eharmony in early November 2009.
Sue: I’d seen a commercial for eharmony and bought a one-year membership. I didn’t want to be alone forever and figured I’d give it a shot. If I met someone, great. If not, oh well.
Stephen: I filled out all the surveys and I was very honest and open about my situation: my wife had just died, my marriage hadn’t been good. I had left teaching and was out of work and without a car. I was lonely and hated living alone.
Sue: I had a great job at a physio clinic and matched first with a doctor. They probably thought I’d love that, but no. I’ve worked with many doctors and they have uncertain schedules, they work all the time, they’re always on call. I wasn’t impressed and never even responded.
Stephen: Some of my “matches” had virtually no information, so I deleted those immediately. Others had interests that weren’t mine, so I deleted those too. I was down to five or six, but when I saw Sue’s photo, I thought, “That’s her. That’s the lady for me.”
Sue: When I first read his profile, I thought, “This is an honest, down-to-earth guy.” I loved that he just told his truth, no BS. He had big, square, 1970s glasses – which are back in style now but they weren’t then. I thought he looked like a man who needed a woman because he needed a makeover. I thought I could be that woman.
Stephen: We met at a restaurant a month later, for brunch I brought her a lilac-coloured rose. We had so much in common, including that we we both had dogs and both were female Shih Tzus. We spent four hours talking to each other until the staff kicked us out because they were closing.
Sue: He’d been so honest, so I was too. I was very bold and said, “Look, if you want a serious relationship with me, you’re going to have to sell your house and move to Kitchener and find a job.” When he said, “I’ve been looking for a reason to get out of Brampton,” I almost fell off my chair.
Stephen: A couple of months later, I moved in. I got a car and a new job. Less than a year later, we got married. Lilac was the primary colour at the wedding.
